This blog post is about having what you want in life. This is a big presupposition, that we can live the life we want. And really, why shouldn’t we?
This blog post is about having what you want in life. This is a big presupposition, that we can live the life we want. And really, why shouldn’t we?Two things can prevent us from living that life. One is that we made decisions early in life, outside of our awareness of today, that still limit us. These decisions were often made at times of stress or trauma, and we re-create some version of that experience unconsciously.
Seems illogical that our early decisions, that didn’t really solve things back then, can still be the source of issues today, and yet, that’s the way we write our life scripts.
Some coaches insist they deal only with the present and future, and don’t get into that stuff from the past.
It’s not about rehashing the past, or even remembering all the details. We can recognize the tracks of the past in the present, and clear them up. Much energy is released when we clear out old decisions.
The second way we prevent ourselves from living the life we want is that we haven’t envisioned it. Life script change is not just letting go of past decisions, it involves making new ones, and then enacting them day by day.
When we made our early decisions, we had no idea of the possibilities our lives could hold. Now we have a chance to explore, learn from others, and create lives based on consciously chosen assumptions.
This whole concept of choice is pretty radical. Whether we have some things in our life that we don’t want, or want some things that we don’t have, this is what we are choosing today.
The TA (transactional analysis) belief that we are all OK includes the idea that we are at choice – if we can get in touch with the internal decision-maker who wanted to stay OK, and made limiting decisions in service of that goal.
That decision-maker is grown up now, and can be the designer of a happy life, with much more knowledge than he or she had back then.
You can access online and in-person courses about TA and other positive psychology methods, if you want to re-connect solidly with that OK self to make new decisions, and maybe help others do the same.
Whether you are new to TA or are already experienced with it, and whether you are learning for yourself or to expand what you can do with your clients, please join NATAA, understand the decisions you’ve made and their impact on your life, and find out what life you really can live.
You may contact Lucy at lucy@syntaxforchange.com
HI Lucy,
You have said this beautifully, and it is important to say this to all who choose to read it. I totally agree. Our free will gives us the power to create our lives as we choose. Choosing to be loving to self and others will create happiness.
WANT – Compassion/Empathy
Watching myself hold back when a moment for closeness arrives, a touch, a hug, now fills my awareness, as I’m summoned by the inner voice to give up, the old for a new response.
Fewer tomorrow’s than yesterday’s! B. Clinton
(sorry if there are many mistakes, my language is french)
I possibly cannot speak about how I plan my life, for most of it lies behind me. I am 78……But I can look backwards and see how I managed to get where I am… maybe that could be useful for some yongsters.
Whan I was a child, about five, the grandfather of one of my palls came to visit us at school and showed a film, oh a very oldish one, about what he was doing in Lambarene, for it was Albert Schweizer….. I clearly thought that this was what I wanted to do, be a surgeon in Lambarene………
But by the time I had to choose a training, I got tuberculosis, for the second time, and the doctor told me that it would be a far to tiring job… Actually I think he was wrong, for I recovered completely, but still, I changed my plans. I had read a very good novel about a girl who was a social worker looking after adolescents, and I decided to become that.
Meanwhile, I changed orientation again and studied psychology. As a psychologist, I chose to become a therapist, and met TA.
So I became a psychotherapist in private practice….. And think now that, in some way, I am a sort of surgeon and a social worker looking after injured persons, helping them to get well and live a sound life. The fact is that I still have some clients, and find it more and more easy to help them getting thinks clear in their life,
Just a few weeks ago, I made a very joyful dream. I dreamed I was about fourty, and ended a training session with teachers, or doctors, or nurses….(what I had done lots of times) The session had been very interesting, the group was satisfied, we were jocking and singing, and I felt absolutely happy. I woke up laughing, and asked myself what was the message of this dream.
And found it: I have to go on doing that kind of work, not in leading training sessions, (that would be too difficult, I am not so fit any longer, walk with a stick, and get tired rather soon if I have to work more than one or two appointments a day) But several months ago, I started collecting all my writings, found at least a hundred of lectures I gave, lessons given when I was a teacher or a trainer for therapists, or nurses, or educators, articles I wrote about my work as an expert in courtyard, a.s.o. I started putting them together, correcting, rewriting…. And since weeks I had given up. The dream told me to bring it to an end, and that’s what I am at again. And publish it in some way, or at least offer it on the net.
I hope you succeed in this ambitious project. I would find it a gift to read and explore for my own growth.